Roots to Wings

Oct 07, 2016 11:28am

There is a deep sadness that veils a mother’s heart when she sees her mothering days are at an end. It’s not a sudden awareness. We know the sun will set every day and yet we don’t think about it when we are enjoying it’s rays on our face. But the dusk comes and cannot be denied. We yield to the inevitable and loosen our grip, holding on to a candle’s flame of light that keeps the memories alive.

There is also a deep pride that swells in her heart when she sees this separate human being she helped create radiate independence, perseverance and strength apart from her. As much as she wants to claim those traits as the dregs of her teachings, she sees that her child learned in spite of her meddling and chuckles. “Thank God.”

Some paths to this day of independence were well laid and executed much like meticulously following the directions for a complicated Lego structure. Others, like mine, well… we threw away the directions long ago and merrily (sometimes frantically) started piecing together a unique craft that somehow, miraculously, turned out to be a blue ribbon entry.

I doubt the instincts will ever go away. You know, coming to a sudden stop in the car and your arm flings across to become the seatbelt for them…even though they are driving. Or putting in your two cents even though you are fully aware as soon as the words leave your mouth that you are more than a bit antiquated in your reasoning.

There are also those humbling moments when you see they are smarter than you are in many areas and you find yourself asking them for advice.

The plane will leave tomorrow morning taking me back to my own life across a contents’ divide. A life that I am going to have to reconstruct now, as for the past 25 years it has been revolved around this man-child of mine. Our journey was so different than most, and here we are at the perfect place in time building our own separate lives yet forever connected. It is time. Sadness and yet, it is time. It is how God intended things to be. I mean really, how else am I going to get any grand babies?

The plane leaves tomorrow, not today. There are still memories to be made as we leave the mountains and drive back to reality. These memories will be stored in my heart-chest and keep me warm in the months to come. Sheer gratitude and grace wrap themselves around us. I will dwell on that thought to keep away the tears of sadness. Nothing can separate us from the love of God as nothing can separate the love of a mother for her child. Not time, not age, not even the sunset of life. All is well. We are well. God is good.