Retirement Time - kind of...

Major Announcement!! (drum roll please).  I am formally retiring from UNC-FSU at the end of this term. After mom died I climbed off the Tenure bus and have only been part time… but still I was going to wait a year to retire - which is what I said last year. Yes, I know, neurosis has many faces and dubious lures. This winter however I watched myself running full tilt doing many things partially to my liking.  The term half-assed comes to mind. Granted, being ADD is a commercial license for multi-tasking… however multiple unfinished projects kept staring me in the face.  For umpteen years I had been racing to stay inches in front of the rampaging boulder that was careening down the path behind me.  Habit, I suppose, kept me at that pace as life is gentler now and the need is gone. 

I will now have time to teach in different ways.  My Sunday School class, Better Living and Wellness lectures, and even do more volunteering at schools.  I will always love Children’s Theatre and will now have more time to write more plays. Lots of fun projects to look forward to – including just smelling the roses for a while. This change is an exciting prospect in and of itself - and a challenge as it is my nature to overbook.

Many asked me why I didn’t stop teaching right when mom died. After all she left me the Golden Goose with her incredible business. But there are other treasures  finer than gold.   A few come to mind: 1) I am a teacher.  I love it and I am really good.  Proud to say I had some of the highest teaching scores in my department for years. 2) It was a safe habit.  There had been so many changes, (major upheaval kinds of changes), that teaching was a constant that felt safe.  It kept me grounded and helped pay for Luke’s medical bills. Yes I had insurance.  20% of 364,980.00 is still a hefty bill.   3) Probably the most important reason however:  I felt I made a difference in people’s lives.  Having students come and thank me years after  - telling me I changed their life – its just an invaluable experience making me know my walk on this planet had meaning.

I taught my first theatre class in 1980 at Michigan State.  Looking around at those students in that Intro class I knew there was a 1% chance that any of them would choose Theatre as a major – must less a profession. At the same time I saw that 99% were gaining self-confidence and reveling in a creative process that would have a life long pay off.  My first term at FSU I saw teaching Speech and Voice and Diction the standard way was simply not going to cut it with these kids.  They needed soft skills – the basics most take for granted – and a road map to creative possibilities.  I took on the Alma Mater roll – second mother -- and we went to work. To say I loved them would be an understatement. They changed my life and inspired me more than I can ever tell. Who was the teacher and who was the student?

Last night I had a middle school parent come after me and profusely thank me for taking the time to direct their show. She told me her son had come out of his shell and for the first time had confidence. The tears in her eyes were as priceless as diamonds.  

Working with these young people these past few months took me back to a campfire at NMC when I was just 14 myself.  A world of possibilities were ahead of me when I first heard Robert Frost’s poem ‘The Road Not Taken.”  The words were eerily prophetic – and I knew it – even at that young age. Yes, I have an invitation to come back Adjunct to FSU any time I want.  And I deeply appreciate the offer.  Yet…” Two roads that morning equally lay, in fields no step had trodden black.  Oh, I kept the first for another day.  Yet knowing how way leads on to way…”.  You know the rest.