* 50 Shades of BenGay

    There once was a time I ran away from challenging times with a vengeance.  I would hunker down in self-pity and drama. Lots of drama!   Then I would plow through the perplexing events with blinders on repeating the mantra at break neck speed – “this too shall pass - this too shall pass -this too shall pass.”  until they did.  But I was a wreck and in the meantime did a nice job at freaking out many of my closest friends and family. Face it, some people major in Drama on and off camera… and I was one of them. Midlife was not fun. Hell set in for about 10 years: Divorce, loss of home, loss of income, custody wars, loss of job, working three jobs at once, friends getting cancer, friends dying of cancer, family members getting cancer, family members dying of cancer including my mom and step dad, son almost dying in a car accident and a long recovery which will never be complete. My 40’s were not a walk in the park with George. I was Job – the Bible’s Job not Steve. O

What does the term ‘getting older’ mean to you?  Some fear it while others embrace it. Why is that? We live in a culture that worships the youth and we have been led to believe we should retire at age 65 and go play golf or garden – whatever it is, just take a back seat to the younger generation. If you think that is really true, somebody has sold you a bill of goods. Did you know that more than half of what researchers called “the world’s greatest work” was achieved by leaders, thinkers, creative people, businesspeople, and others who were age sixty or older? A third of the accomplishments of the 400 most famous people came when they were between 60 and 70 years old. A quarter came when they were 70 to 80. Some brief examples:  At 100, Grandma Moses was painting, at 94, Bertrand Russell was active in international peace drives, at 91, Eamon de Valera served as president of Ireland, at 90, Pablo Picasso was producing drawings and engravings at 89, Arthur Rubinstein gav

When one has been hurt by another, the usual recourse is to evoke the wrath of the gods down on their head.  It’s a natural reaction called rage – which lives about a mile and a half down the road from anger.  Biblical box office material at its best. RE: It feels good – temporarily.  But it’s a useless waste of energy and robs one of peace. New Testament truth triumphs Old Testament again. Rats!   Alas, late at night as you are still stewing over clever revenge tactics and snarky repartees, it dawns on you that the one who caused your insomnia is probably getting a good night sleep. They still win!! Dang - Time to get serious. Time to get conscious really. You've heard forgiveness is the only way out, and indeed you want to forgive and let it all go,  but you just can’t.  You really try. I mean really really try - it just won’t come.  Let’s face it, we are old enough to realize repression is not forgiveness. You know what I mean - you tell yourself you have forgiven t

Just because you have done something all of your life does not mean you need to keep doing it until you die.  I read that pearl of wisdom somewhere in a book a long time ago. It was a ticket I suspected I would need in my pocket to push me forward in life’s journey.  We seem to need the ticket more and more as we get older. Used to go to Toys R Us – kid hands us a ticket as one can’t buy a blue sports car there.  Used to be a runner - was forced to use the ticket as my knees refused to participate anymore. Used to teach children how to worship God with song and dance until… well, more on that in a bit. Dr. Scott Peck wrote a great book years ago called a   World Waiting to be Born . It was about civility.  I didn't understand the concept at first as I have always been one to champion the individual over the group.  Perhaps it’s because I was bullied as a kid – don’t know. Doesn't matter. Peck’s thoughts eventually made an impact on me.  Ok, what am I talking about

This is going to be a special year for me - a milestone year. I am turning 60. In May... God willing. Cinderella grew up in her 50’s and I wouldn’t trade one tear for the lessons learned.  Greif and loss has a way of destroying pride – if you let it.  The phoenix rises however from those ashes reborn with greater compassion – once again, if you let it.  I paid so much attention to others in my 50’s that I really didn’t see myself age.  What – are you blind??  To a point – yea I was. Hard to focus of self when one is a caretaker of so many in life and death situations.  Especially when most of them died. But that is life. Now I can focus on me. (oh she says with trepidation a life does have a way of laughing at plans).  To grow old is a privilege not given to all. And there is a difference between growing older and becoming and elder.  I am dedicating this year to learning to become the later. As I age I want to be a light down the path for others to follow. A safe haven fo